Hindsight

It is said that 'Hindsight is 20/20'...

Rewind back to January 2012:
Groupon had a paintball promotion.  Live-In #2 had a birthday.  In a moment of what I thought was pure brilliance, I decided to buy admission for the whole family to go paint balling as part of live-in #2's birthday gifts. Live-In #2 opened the gift and was tentatively excited.  Live-In #1 looked at me like I had snakes for hair and asked me if I knew what paint balling was.  It was at this point that I began to wonder if this was really such a good idea...

Fast Forward to February 2012:
We have had cabin fever lately.  This is that odd time of year where the holiday hustle and bustle is over, baseball has not yet started and summer is sadly too far off to think about.  The other day when we needed something to do (other than things that needed to be done...like clean the house, clean the yard, etc) Lover remembered we had the paint ball vouchers....

I called the paint ball company where we were to go play to ask them about attire and began to become greatly concerned when the nice man who answered the phone told me to 'wear layers'.  Huh?   So I dutifully told my live-ins to layer it up and they did so in a very efficient manner.  I, on the other hand, did not heed my warning seriously enough.  Trying to wear older clothes in case they got ruined, I put on a long sleeve (way to thin) shirt and a fleece sweatshirt. Before leaving the house I considered the v-neck in my fleece sweatshirt, but foolishly decided it would be ok.

That would be my mistake...

My family and I carefully watched the tutorial video on 'what not to do' in the arena.  I took great care in making sure my live-ins understood the rules so they wouldn't get hurt.  We recieved our masks, paint and paintball guns and were ready to play.

First, I must say while the masks were itchy and annoying, they were my new best friend in round one.  Within  a minute into the first round I was shot in the mask and could only see out of one eye.  This did not hurt.

In round two I learned from the mistakes I made in round one and kept better cover.  Live-in #1 made it about 1/2 way through the round and then got shot.  She was out.  That left me to protect Live-In #3 who was hiding behind me.  My team was dropping like flies and the round was almost over when I got my first real piece of the action.  I caught an unsuspecting opponent off guard and sent him on his way (I think) and I had my sights set on another opponent.  The problem was he had his eye set on me AND was a better aim than I was.  As I was firing off several paint rounds, feeling ever so empowered...I suddenly feel it...

I'd been shot...only everything was happening in slow motion.  I felt myself jerking as one would in a Hollywood movie when they are shot.  I tasted paint spatter... I felt pain...I had to remind myself to breathe...  When I finally got my wits I heard myself yell 'I'm Out' and desperately try to remember what I told my live-ins they had to remember about exiting the arena.  Luckily I made it out...with live-in #3 hot on my heels.

When Lover saw me he said whoever shot me was a good shot...one to the head and one to the heart.  This may be a good time to remind you that I was wearing a v-neck fleece.

So it is true...Hindsight is 20/20...and next time I will definitely wear more layers!

Stephanie

If you have read my blog from the beginning or even last spring/summer then you would know that my posts have become far and fewer between over the past few months.  At first life got really busy, then life got complicated with new experiences that I wasn't sure how to share and then life got very sad...too sad to talk about.

I have only mentioned my sister (by law, however in spirit every bit My Sister) and her fight against cancer a couple times on my blog.  This is for a couple reasons; first I didn't want to invade her privacy and second I felt completely inadequate in my writing to give any justice to the experience.

But, Stephanie was a huge part of my life in 2011.  I got to know her better in 2011 then I knew her in all the seven years prior.  I helped care for her, tried to help lift her spirits with laughter and went to most all her chemo appointments with her.  During those drives to chemo and during the appointments we would talk and play games and developed a closeness that I will cherish for the rest of my life.

In December, Stephanie passed away.  The loss I feel sometimes feels like a heavy weight on my chest.  Sometimes I still can't believe she is gone, sometimes I am angry that she was taken from our family, from my brother and from her sweet children, and sometimes I feel guilty...that I could have done more to make her time with us even better.  But most often I feel so very sad as I realize again and again that she is never coming back, I cannot call her up to see how she's doing, I can't have her over for dinner, I can't hug her anymore and I will forever miss her.  

I am a person of action.  I have a hard time sitting still and waiting for things to happen, so naturally I start to think about what I can do to get through this difficult time.  My mind keeps going back to 'How can I honor Stephanie?'  The answer is clear, Stephanie was a woman who was a walking example of God's love, compassion, grace and kindness.  She did not hide her love for her Savior, she was not afraid to speak about her faith...so I will follow suit.

I hope I will make her proud.  I hope that one day, when we see each other again in heaven, she will look upon me and smile her beautiful smile and tell me I made her proud.

I love you Stephanie.

An Usher Kind of Morning

This morning started out like most other mornings.  I had to tear myself off my mattress and try not to fall down the stairs to get my morning coffee.  Today was one of the morning I would be taking live-in #1 to school, middle school that is, so I started the truck to get it all warm and cozy.  When I got into the truck I noticed the music was turned down too low to hear so I turned it up, one minute later I turned it back down...it appears Alanis Morrissette is not a good match for me in the mornings.

But then, as I am pulling into the parking lot of live-in #1's middle school, my spirits perked up  I came awake with a start...Usher was singing none other than my favorite 2011 boating song.  It was my number one song on my playlist.  I would play it Loud and Proud on the boat and we all loved it.  The song took me back to a July afternoon when I took a boat full of girls out surfing, leaving the guys in our dust...or should I say ripples since we were on the water...

So I only saw it fitting that this morning at 7:45 a.m. I once again played it Loud and Proud...BUT alas I forgot where we were at and how live-in #1 gets very embarrassed by my antics at times.  She immediately turned it WAY down so I turned it back UP, she turned it down again so I turned it back up, told her this was my car and began to work on getting my groove on.  She was NOT impressed.  So I turned it down, only a little, so she could get out of the car and begin her walk run of shame into the school as her mother was obviously deliriously high on Usher...then I turned the music back up and fought the temptation to completely humiliate my daughter by dancing my way out of the parking lot.

When the song was over I went back to normal volume and Live-In #2 told me he thought he might be deaf now.  But I don't care....I needed to channel my inner winterized boating soul!

After all....DJ's got me falling in love!

Letter to Live-In #2

Dear Live-In #2:

On January 9, 2002 at 11:46 a.m. my world was blessed by your arrival.  You continue to bless my life each day.  I love the wonder in your eyes as you discover something new and the excitement you express when you share what you have learned with me.  Seeing the world through your eyes is a wondrous thing.

I tell you sometimes that I am proud of you and I want you to understand why.  You are good, and kind, and caring, and empathetic, and generous, and thoughtful.  You not only make my world brighter but you bring light to those you know.  You are infectious and an essential part of my life!

Now, about that little saying that you have being saying lately..."I am a pre-teen now"...nice try...how about just staying my baby!

Last, I want to you to read this very carefully because I know you are a sponge when it comes to information.  I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as there is air to breathe my baby you'll be.

I love you my son!

Love,
Mommy

Happy 10th Birthday to My Boy

 Today my son turns 10 years old!!  I don't know where the time goes, but here is a look back at the past year of his life.

He is a fan of the Oregon Ducks

He played tackle football for the first time and loved it!

Well hello Handsome...uh, hold on a minute...you are supposed to be my baby!

He made a touchdown at Reesers Stadium - Home of the OSU Beavers

Even though he is a Oregon Ducks Fan.

He showed us his wild side!  

Ozzy Osborne Crazy Train

He continued in his quest to Wake Surf

And Succeeded!!!

He was a West Salem Little League 9/10 All Star

And MY ALL STAR!

1st day of 4th Grade

Hunting Mice with his brother

Telling stories around the campfire

Playing on the Beach

Showing off his new Oceanic White Tip Shark Tooth Necklace

Goofing around at the Christmas Tree Farm

Light Sabor fun in the garage with his cousin on Thanksgiving

My little Falcons Fan!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MY 10 YEAR OLD BOY!!!

Peace

On our Christmas mantle is the word PEACE.  There are five letters in this word, there are five people in my family, it may seem only natural.  However, there is a story behind why our stocking hang from this word.

This story was born nine years ago when I was expecting my third child.  My husband and I had gone in for a routine ultra sound just after Thanksgiving.  However, this ultra sound was anything but routine.  My doctor could not find four chambers in my baby's heart.  Try as he may, he could only find two chambers.  

We were immediately set up for a follow up ultra sound at another doctor's office that was used to working with high risk pregnancies.  We had to wait what felt like forever, but in fact was probably about three or four days until our next appointment.   I was beside myself with fear for my unborn child and what life would hold for him.   I was in a state of constant worry and crying.  I spent a lot of time praying for my unborn child.

One night, I woke up to a voice telling me 'It is going to be okay'.  My head shot up off the pillow, but the house was dark and everyone was asleep.  What I was left with was an overwhelming sense of Peace.  A Peace that could only be from God as it surpassed my understanding.

When my doctor appointment came, we found that our son's heart did in fact have four chambers and in fact...everything was okay.  That year as I went Christmas shopping I bought our PEACE stocking holders.  Each year I pull them out and am so thankful for the gift of Peace God gave me that year.

My Christmas wish for you is that you too will have God's Peace that surpasses our human understanding.  Merry Christmas!  Peace be with you!

And the Peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:7

Top Ten - Reasons I Run

I have told you before, I run.  I would not consider myself a runner, but I run.  I want to say I am a runner, but the words never make it past my lips.  Hello, my name is Carol and I am a..., nevermind - I run.

These days my runs are sometimes more sporadic than they used to be.  My running partner has been injured for the past six months and I find my self discipline is much better when she is waiting for me to get my running ass out of bed than when she is not.  Nevertheless, I am still running and these are my top ten reasons for doing so:

10.   I don't want to be a quitter.  I've worked hard to get to where I am at, I don't want to give it up and have to start at square one when I decide, again, that I need to shed some pounds.

9.     I want to set a good example for my live-ins.  Exercise is a good thing...so I am told.

8.     I have a mean 'Sweet Tooth'.  Pie should be a breakfast food and cookies are not a one and I'm done kind of food for me.

7.     I don't believe in margarine, I like Butter...and lots of it!

6.     I believe Sauces should be it's own food group.  Hollandaise Sauce, Pepper Sauce, Alfredo Sauce, anything with heavy cream and butter sauce...

5.     I have some really cute running clothes that I like to wear.  Not to mention the small fortune I spent on them.

4.   I like the feeling when I am all done.  It makes me feel good to know while most people are getting up and ready for their day, I have already run at least three miles.

3.    If I do it today, I will have a break tomorrow.

2.    I LOVE to eat. Savory, Sweet or Baked Goods...I love them all so very much.

1.    And my number one reason is My Jeans.  I like them, I'd like to continue to fit into them.  So when I am going through all the thoughts in my head as to why I should get out of my warm cocoon and go run in the morning, it is my jeans that finally gets me up and going.

So there you have it.  Another method to my madness, another peak into the workings of my mind.